Dream

Strangely enough, I dreamed of her. I held her in my arms and kissed her. I heard her voice. How I wish I could return to that dream and never to wake up! I thought I was over her and moved on, but I was wrong.

I felt dizzy yesterday among all the sudden changes going on around me: people leaving and new journey coming, stuff like that. This is so meant to be, as I walk deeper into the maze of life.

LET ME GO

I am definately leaving this city, where I have nothing to cherish, nobody to love, and no place to call my own. How ironic and pathetic this is: I've been in this city for more than 6 years yet I have few, if any, friends to talk and share. I know this is partly my fault since I am always wrapped up in myself and refuse to get close to anyone, and dont know how to get close to others. The upshot is this: I am all alone, getting dumb and old so fast that they are surprised at my looks.
I used to have so wonderful people around me yet I snubbed them and chased them away, then I wallowed in self-pity and self-blame: it's always like this. Whenever there are some good people coming to my life, I dont know how to handle and bungled it. I promise to myself: the next time a good relationship comes along, I shall not let it go that easily. This is truely my worst days. My cellphone doesnt ring all day and all night, not a soul in this city ever remembers me .

So I need a change, some place where I can start all over again. I am always good at this: new environment always makes me full of fighting spirits.
I have noting in Shanghai, so I shall leave, I must leave.